My name is Robert Parker. I sit here in a small town in Columbia with my associate Harry Alonzo completely surrounded by the Columbian National Army. I have 6 shots left and am wounded badly, as is Harry. We are prepared to face death in a blaze of glory and smoke bursts. Our past few months stuck in this wretched country has made me miss our former lives in the United States. How I miss hot dogs and apple pie. Things were a whole lot better then.
My story starts when I was fairly young. My life of crime began in an innocent enough way, needing a horse to get home. I was later imprisoned for some other crimes I swear I am innocent of. While I was in jail I met my associate Harry and once we got out we started a gang called the Untamed Group. We were a bunch of wild and reckless adventurers who made financial gain at the expense of local banks. We justified our actions because the banks were the real robbers of the common people, and we were just evening the playing field. We hit every bank we could and no one could stop us. With the fastest guns in the West and my expert planning, we eluded every law official that came after us.
As the Untamed Group grew we were able to walk about with fearless power. Anything we desired would fall into our hands. Women, booze, guns… anything. But as the gang grew, so did the desire of others to have the power we gained. One of the members of the Untamed Group who I had come to like a lot challenged my position and said we should go for bigger fish than just local banks. I quickly made an example of him and his foolishness of challenging me, but I liked his idea. I decided it was time to take this Untamed Group and put them in the history books. We performed our first few railroad robberies with great success. We hit the payroll trains and banked on a couple hundred thousand clams in just one job.
Our execution was simple really; barricade the tracks and when the train stops we would fight off the guards and blow open the safe with some dynamite. But things went wrong one time when we used too much dynamite. The safe blew wide open and so did all the money. As the paper bills rained down on us I spotted another train coming upon the site we stood. I watched it curiously as it stopped. Then to my surprise a door flew open and out jumped a posse on horseback armed to the teeth. Our gang was quickly dispersed and some were even hit right away. Harry and I split away from the rest of the group hoping they would follow them, only to find the posse still hot on our heels. The railroad companies had gotten word of our notoriety and wanted us out of the picture and were willing to use all necessary force.
We used all the tricks in the book to get rid of our pursuing tail. Walked in circles, rode the horses off separately, and walked on rocks and through rivers. Nothing could stop them. No matter what we did the posse was at most a day behind us. Some sort of Indian tracker must have been with them or even the devil himself. We could feel the noose slipping around our necks. Our time seemed over when we found ourselves caught next to a canyon with the posse right behind us. Harry wanted to fight but I was reluctant. I decided it was still best to run. We both jumped down the canyon into the rocky waters below and miraculously survived. We took this as a sign from God that we were getting a second chance to live a good life, so we took off for a new country.
Columbia got boring fast. Our attempts to live quiet lives frustrated us and we soon found ourselves back to our old tricks. We were hitting up banks again as soon we learned the language well enough. It was pretty easy to take advantage of these trusting locals. What we didn’t account for was the lack of tolerance for bank robberies of national banks by the Columbian government. This brings us to the situation that I am in now. I have seen the mistakes of my pride and arrogance as I attempt to take on feats that could swallow me whole, but now I will go out in a firestorm, successful or not.
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